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(Contains: nudity)
This was pure and simple catharsis - I drew this image a few years ago, when I was suffering from a really bad depression. Somehow it felt better drawing it, giving it a shape and a form I could see and understand.

For me, a clinical depression is like a gash at the heart. Once there's an open wound, any tiny little hardship, problem or bad news becomes a seed that can easily take root and grow until it blooms black and horrible and painful inside, and you can't get it out without ripping out pieces of your heart along with it.

Even when it fades and goes away, there'll still be little scars, only they're on the inside, so you can't see them.


Somehow it helped making it beautiful.
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:iconuyr-uka:
Uyr-Uka Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2011
Wow--this is amazing! Reading the meaning behind it...gives it even more depth. Somehow the face both shows and hides the true feelings.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011
Thank you. It's a very personal piece. I'm glad you like it.
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:iconpurplesinger:
purplesinger Featured By Owner May 20, 2011
I like the way her hands sort of fade out, as if she'd pluck out the flower and "fix" herself if she could, but she doesn't have the power to all by herself.

Excellent, excellent work. :heart:
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
Thank you. It's a meaningful piece for me, I'm glad you like it.
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:iconlawenta:
Lawenta Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I agree that giving those kind of deep-seated problems form and shape, whether only in one's imagination or on a canvas or paper, makes one understand and deal with them better. And catharsis is always a wonderful feeling. Rebirth of sorts...

Thank you for sharing such a personal picture.

I'm glad you seem better and better ever since then. I wish you lots of strenght, good friends and great purring company in the form of happy, healthy cats :)
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2010
Thank you. :heart:
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:iconyyanaoni:
YyanaOni Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2010
Oh wow, this is very beautiful. I can really re-late. I hope you're feeling better. :pat:
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2010
Thank you.
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:iconpockypuck:
PockyPuck Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2010
I hear you, hon. :<

This is very beautiful. The small chains of hair, the shadowed eyes, the delicate way her hands try to brush the iris--I recognize that.

It helps to express it, I agree.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2010
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
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:iconc-c-corone:
C-C-Corone Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This work speaks for itself. It's filled with all the pain and agony that depression brings with it. To make such and ugly feeling into something so beautiful...

I absolutely love this piece, because it makes it easier to go through the periods of depression.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010
I'm glad you like it.
I find sometimes it helps to have a focus like this to battle the hard times; I admit when I decided to post it, I was hoping that maybe it could help others as well, in some fashion.
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:iconc-c-corone:
C-C-Corone Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think it's a good thing to do, and I'm sure it is very helpful, at least it is for me.
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:icononi-neko:
Oni-Neko Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful. I'm grateful that you wanted to show us something so personal. Though with your level of talent I'd be less embarrased about showing said pieces because of their beauty.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2010
I don't know. I painted it long enough ago that I can see a lot of flaws with it now. Still, there is a feel to it that I still like, a feeling that came through just the way I was aiming for, even with the flaws. Maybe that's how it has to be with something like this, I dunno.
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:iconladydarkkitten:
LadyDarkKitten Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I think every artist can understand and agree with this on some level. Thank you for sharing this with us.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I'm glad you like it, thank you.
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:iconlightdragoonshana:
lightdragoonshana Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I love it.. i always loved your work as well, this artwork speaks alot from the inside. Thanks for sharing with us.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I'm glad you like it.
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:iconmadcarrot:
madcarrot Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
This is beautiful. <3
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Thank you. :heart:
The proportions are a bit weird and such, but the feeling I was shooting for is definitely there.
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:iconmetalman1138:
metalman1138 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow very nice work.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Thank you.
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:iconhettar7:
Hettar7 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010
:hug:
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Thank you. ^^
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:iconsinsia:
Sinsia Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This piece speaks to me at so many levels...
You did an amazing job creating this, I've always admired your artwork.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
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:iconemabelle:
emabelle Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010
I've suffered from clinical depression too, so I know exactly what you're talking about...I feel like this piece captures that description really well.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I'm glad you like it.

I know it's a different experience for everyone, but the feeling of helplessness at one's own emotions, and having no shields at all against the world, just the raw feeling of all the bad nesting in there I think is similar for everyone.
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:iconemabelle:
emabelle Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I totally agree. I feel like depression-related sadness or anger often ends up being more private as well- I feel like a lot of people don't understand how depression works, so I tend to keep the negative feelings deep down which makes things worse. I think your piece captured this feeling really well too.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
I guess for me it's both. I try to keep it to myself, but it rarely works in the long run - I'll either get snappy or sobby or just quiet and antisocial. People tend to notice, either way. And then with the guilt and the downwards spiral, and yeah. God, I'm glad I'm not in that place right now.
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:iconemabelle:
emabelle Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Exactly! Ii just ends up eating away at you, it's terrible. My overall mood was so bad that my mom noticed, and we aren't even that close. Thank god for phychiatrists, haha.
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:iconforgottenblackballad:
forgottenblackballad Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I love this and the description both for artistic and personal reasons. The artwork is of course beautiful as always but the meaning behind it strikes a painful chord that almost makes it difficult to want to look at. Even so I can't pass up on putting it my favorites as a reminder.
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:iconsilvestris:
silvestris Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2010
Thank you.
Reply
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August 26, 2010
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